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************ Jamie stopped in front of the big Victorian house on Whitman St., in a quiet, residential area. The house sat back on a double lot in the older part of the village. It was far from derelict, but its grandeur was certainly in days gone by. A porch encircled the ground floor. That feature, and its round turrets on the top floor, made the grand old place look like a white fort. The scallops and gingerbread trim of the house were ruined by the black iron jacket of the fire escape attached to the side, as though in prison for superfluous joviality, making what was once cheerful appear grim. Jamie paid the aesthetics no mind and turned into the gravel driveway. They were none of his concern. He just needed a place to lodge. He stood waiting on the porch for several minutes. He was nearly ready to leave when a portly woman answered the door. She looked to be about seventy, wore her grey hair in a bun and a Betty Crocker apron. At first glance one might have assumed her to be. . I told her we could pick the guy together and he would have to provide proof he is disease free as my wife does not like condoms.. I pressed her approval but she asked for a little more time as it was a big decision.The following Friday I got the shock of my life. My wife came home a bit late as she had a business reception downtown. Her corporate office had thrown a party for her company as they had exceeded plan by over 10% last quarter. When she came in I noticed she looked a bit ruffled and I called her into the living room where I had been reading the newspaper. She stood in front of me and I asked what was wrong. She looked very nervous and said I have to tell you something. She went on to say how we had been talking about her having sex with another man. I said yes, I remember, but what has that got to do with tonight. She said, well I did have sex with someone tonight. I was flabbergasted. I said what? She teared up and choked up, saying that she didn't mean it to happen. I.
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